Matt Gaetz, former-congressman-cum-suspect in a child sexual misconduct case, was recently asked to join the incoming Trump administration as Attorney General, but has since taken himself out of consideration in light of “family issues.” He will not be rejoining Congress and will be taking a sabbatical from politics as a whole.
This decision has reportedly “raised some eyebrows” among politicians on both sides of the aisle. Many have speculated Gaetz’s multiple run-ins with the law, including the accruement of a DUI, might be the reason for his withdrawal. Those close to Gaetz have revealed that he has been “going through a lot of mental turmoil because of these accusations.” “I don’t know, he seemed pretty scared about his future last night and kept muttering ‘innocent until proven otherwise’ to himself. I haven’t seen him since Joshua’s mom caught us with beer and vapes in her basement last week,” said Waldorf High student Isaiah Chen.
Reporters caught a dejected Gaetz leaving Mar-a-Lago and crowded around him, demanding an explanation. Gaetz replied, “I am not a criminal, I’m just a youthful soul on the inside looking for people youthful on the outside… Is that really a crime in Biden’s America?”
