Written by: The MQ

  1. Hello,
  2. Sorry,
  3. I Excel with Integrity,
  4. By the way, Australia is wider than the Moon,
  5. Please reply soon, my laptop is on fire and I have no other way to access this email,
  6. I hope this email finds you at 734 Sparrow Lane, Kearney, NH 49245,
  7. Your time on this earth is limited.
    Spend it wisely,
  8. I sent this at 3 a.m. and expect a response within 10 minutes,
  9. As always, thanks for watching,
  10. Smell ya later,

The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.

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