Sarah McLachlan Finally Adopted into Loving Home


Written by: The MQ

“No! Bad Sarah! No ripping the couch. No 60 cents for you today,” said John Johnson, Sarah McLachlan’s owner.
Photo by: Katherine Wood

Every day in America, thousands of animals suffer from cruelty and neglect. Thousands were rescued last year, and for one Canadian pop star, help finally came. Three time Grammy award winner and 2010 Winter Olympics opening ceremony performer Sarah McLachlan has recently been adopted by a Iowan family of four, the Johnsons. This will be the first human adoption done by the ASPCA.

“My husband and I have been fans of Sarah for years,” says John Johnson, father of two. “We’ve always been kinda unsure about it, but now that the kids are old enough, we feel it’s a good time to teach them about responsibility, and what better starting point than with a 49-year-old singer songwriter?”

“We’re so excited to have Sarah in our home,” added Jonathan Johnson, who goes by ‘Jon,’ to avoid confusion. “For years, whenever the commercial came on, our kids would say, ‘Dads! Dads! Can we have one?’ and finally, we’re getting our own Sarah McLachlan.”

ASPCA President and dog-haver Matthew Bershadker describes McLachlan’s adoption process as another example of the organization’s mission to help sad-looking pets in commercials. “People had been calling in for Sarah ever since we started airing that commercial in 2006,” recalled Bershadker. “At first we were pleased to see that her song ‘Angel’ was drawing attention, so we kept her on. We knew the song was special, since Sarah wrote it after the keyboardist for Smashing Pumpkins died. That sorta thing doesn’t happen every day, and it’s helped us raise over $30 million since then.

“But we feel like it’s time for our organization to move in a new direction,” adds Bershadker.

“The commercial’s just too sad,” said Bershadker. We now want something more ‘Goldie Locks’ sad. Like, sad enough that you wanna donate and maybe pet your dog a little harder, so sad that your life becomes the subject of a Netflix original series involving tapes and troubled teens?

“So we started responding to the calls asking about how to adopt Sarah, but being a humane society, we needed to ensure she was going to a good home. The application from the Johnsons seemed the most promising; a nice family from New Labrador, Iowa, who were willing to provide Sarah with her own freezer and maple syrup. We had found our angels.”

When reached for comment, McLachlan released a statement expressing her refusal to comply with the adoption process, claiming “I have a house and two kids. I’m not going to Iowa.”

The case may go to trial to contest McLachlan’s spokesperson deal with the ASPCA, deciding whether the organization can contractually enforce the adoption of anyone appearing in their commercials. And for only $18 a month – that’s 60 cents a day – you can call (512) 879-8839 to donate to McLachlan’s legal defense, and make a difference in the lives of C-list celebrities.

Written by: Paola Diaz, Staff Writer

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