Photo by: Jen Windsor
Handwritten notes found on Trump’s podium by Hofstra University janitor Philipe Santana after the first Presidential Debate seem to indicate who Trump has decided to hire to implement his oft-mentioned plan to “bring back law and order”. It appears he had written “wolf dick?” in the margin of his notes, and then circled it multiple times. Investigators have concluded he meant the creator and executive producer of the Law & Order franchise, Dick Wolf.
During the first presidential debate, when asked how he would heal the divide caused by racial tensions, Mr. Trump had one solution.
“In Chicago, they’ve had thousands of shootings, thousands since January first. Thousands of shootings.” Trump said, alluding to the continuing civil unrest over the cancellation of the beloved series. “And I’m saying, where is this? Is this a war-torn country? What are we doing? And we have to stop the violence. We have to bring back Law & Order.”
When asked for a comment on the planned hire of Dick Wolf, his wife, Melania, released a statement saying, in her own words, “In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. We need to hear their stories… Dun-Dun.”
During a recent campaign speech, Mr. Trump commented on the idea, stating that he’s “still upset” about the original Law & Order’s cancellation in 2010, and that, while he enjoyed SVU, he stopped watching after Dt. Stabler left and Dt. Benson, who used to be a solid nine, began to show wrinkles. Trump also expressed distaste with Dick Wolf’s “recent obsession” with shows about Chicago’s various emergency services.
“Honestly people, Chicago P.D., Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, who actually gives a shit about that windy excuse for a city, okay?” Trump said.
Upon request for comment on this statement, Trump clarified that he was merely criticizing how the Wednesday night lineup “isn’t what it used to be”.
If Trump becomes president, he says that the “Make Law & Order Again” position is set to be implemented into the 2017 winter lineup of policies. This position will affect many different aspects of presidential policy, including Immigration Customs Enforcement with Law & Order: ICE, which will deal with “nabbing Mexicans.” There will also be Law & Order: All-of-Detroit, regarding which Trump has said, “We’re going to make America great again, and we’re going to make America safe again.” To this end, he intends to reinstitute the RoboCop program. And finally, there will be Law & Order: Lockerroom, a comedy about sexual assault crimes described in great detail.
When questioned about the last one, Trump said, “It’s locker room talk, and it’s one of those things, so it’s never actually done.”
Dick Wolf was unavailable for comment, as he is currently on location shooting Chicago Waste Management.
Written by: Brandon Moguel and Paola Diaz, staff writers
Brandon Mougel is an MQ Alumni
