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Quizzes

Online Exclusives • Quizzes

June 1, 2022

What is Your Pasta Personality?

Written by: Theo Erickson

Half-Dome Lounge
Tuesdays, 6-7 p.m.

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The News in Brief

  • March 15, 2023

    March Madness Shortens Format To Draw in Younger Audience

    After years of declining viewership, the NCAA announced a shift in their annual March Madness tournament in an effort to “pander to those damn kids.” “It’s …

  • UCSD Athletics Pivots to Rotisserie Chicken Eating

    March 15, 2023

  • Vending Machine Haunted By Malevolent Sprite

    March 15, 2023

  • STEM Major discovered Eating at Roots

    March 15, 2023

  • International Community Marks 50 Years Since WHO Pandemic Declaration

    March 15, 2023

  • Target Announces Ides of March Pride Collection

    March 15, 2023

  • Student Awaits Punishment for “Bathroom Grinding”

    March 15, 2023

Playing in the IKEA showroom since 1988.

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Government-sponsored satire.

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Online Exclusive

  • March 15, 2023

    Goodyear Blimp Grounded Indefinitely 

    Throughout the month of February, several balloons flying over North America were shot down by U.S. fighter pilots. Following these incidents, Goodyear announced that their blimp …

Satire that will make you feel something.

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Overdipping the chip since 1988.

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We just kinda wing it.

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The best way to start your day is by opening your eyes.

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