Abby Offenhauser
Local Student Receives 1500 On SAT, Says Mother
Local high school junior Geoffrey Patrick Anderson received a score of 1500 on his SAT last week. According to a news tip emailed to a local …
Susan Bagel: Lemonade
The first warm night of the year. When the birds begin to settle in the trees, all gesture and swoop silhouetted by the burning orange evening, …
Maybe Cool It On the Parties vs. Your Mom Pays Me To Be Your Friend
Point: Maybe Cool It On the Parties Hey, man. I can tell you’ve been pretty stressed about your homework lately. And I get it! Finals season …
How The Sunshine Market Renovation Ruined My Life
Scene: It’s the first day of Spring Quarter, and I’m walking through Price Center. I am unbothered, serene even, as I dodge the usual lunchtime swarm …
Wait, You Guys Already Had Your Enrollment Times?
So, here’s the issue. I was under the impression that class enrollment just hadn’t happened for anyone yet. Because when enrollment times came out and WebReg …
Ridge Walk Introduces FasTrak Lane
“And I… I took the Trak less traveled by,” said literature major Carol Quickley.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Starting in Fall 2025, UC San Diego will be …
Grocery Stores Now Stocking Organic, Free-Range Bottled Water
“Compared to me, all those normal water suckers are low-drated,” said WellWater customer and self-proclaimed “clean girl” Hayleigh Zoomer.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala As of early October, …
Sunshine Market Maximizes Convenience by Abolishing the Illusion of Choice
“I tried to take the bell pepper out of my basket, and three store employees tackled me,” said shopper Anne Flaxis. “I’m allergic!”Photo by Liv Gilbert …
UCSD Implements Official Land Acknowledgment ‘Thanks to ChatGPT’
“As a human representative of this university, I am not contractually obligated to show empathy,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Alongside an announcement released by …
UCSD Transportation Services Debuts Airline
“What’s the deal with HDH airline food?” asked one student.Photo by Connor Betterly This weekend, Chancellor Pradeep Khosla announced that, in an effort to ease students’ …
