The MQ
UCSD Requires Integrity Tutorial, Pre-Med Students More Cutthroat Than Ever
Incoming UCSD freshmen and transfers were surprised in October when they received an email requiring that they complete an “academic integrity tutorial.” Upon opening the email, …
Local Instagram Users Capture Never-Before-Seen Sunset
A group of Instagrammers managed to photograph what they described as “a sunset like no one had ever seen in the transition between WebMD’s list of …
At Least My Dead Son Didn’t Have Autism
I am a mom who cares about her kids. A lot. That’s why when my currently dead child’s doctor told me that my now-dead son would …
Toupee Manufacturer Severs Ties with GOP Candidate Donald Trump
Toupee manufacturer Faux Follicles for Falluses, Inc. formally rescinded its support for prospective GOP candidate Donald Trump in a press conference Friday. Though the company initially …
Freshman’s First Bus Ride Leads To Self Realization as Navigator, Woman
Freshman chemical engineering major Heather Turley sees herself as a renewed, independent adult of the post-Nixon era after catching the 201 bus from campus to La …
Student Helps to Fight Drought, Continues to Not Shower
Local hero Brian Mulligan announced on Facebook last Wednesday that he is giving up his personal hygiene in order to combat the severe drought in California. …
UCSD Student Fails COGS 107A, Turing Test
A study conducted by the Cognitive Science Student Association in adjunct with Associated Students as part of their grade distribution collection has determined that third-year UC …
George R.R. Martin Allegedly Killed Off by Own Characters
George R. R. Martin, considered by some to be the most prolific serial killer in history, was found dead in his home last Sunday with a …
La Jolla Hammerhead Admits Dissatisfaction with Local Real Estate, Heads Back to Mexico
La Jolla Shores Beach was emptied last week in response to a hammerhead shark sighting. Contrary to popular belief and hearsay, the shark had not arrived …
Freshman Pre-Med Calls It, UCSD’s Official Time of Death Oct. 9, 10:28 PM
On October 9, Michael Zhao officially called it. Listing the time of death as 10:28 pm, Zhao loudly proclaimed that UCSD truly was UC Socially Dead. …
