After the Irwin Jacobs School of Engineering received private funding, the Joan Jacobs School of Engineering, which only accepts state and federal funding, has decided to divorce Irwin because she “views [this act] as a betrayal worse than the cheating he also did.” Amidst the divorce proceedings, Irwin Jacobs has been relocated to San Diego State University with his rumored lover.
Former Jacobs School of Engineering majors will now be split between the two schools, with Irwin Jacobs taking the software engineering(SE), mechanical and aerospace engineering(MAE), and electrical computer engineering(ECE) majors, and Joan Jacobs retaining control of the bioengineering(BE), nanoengineering(NE), and computer science engineering(CSE) programs. Computer engineering majors, a joint major between the CSE and ECE departments, must now commute between SDSU and UC San Diego several times a week in accordance with the terms of the divorce. In the schools’ custody battle, Irwin and Joan Jacobs have begun to offer students increasingly lucrative bribes. Irwin initially began the “competition” by offering ChatGPT Pro. Joan responded by removing the Ethics and Morality requirement for engineers.
“It’s really awkward having to choose between seeing Mom and Da— I mean, Joan and Irwin,” said a third-year computer engineering student. “I hope they get back together soon. I can’t stand having to choose between two, sort-of connected engineering fields.”
It’s currently unknown how this split will affect the number of Christmases each CE student will have.
