- Sharknado 3 on Blu-ray
- Microplastics
- A Bundt cake pan
- Cat ear headphones
- Fanfiction between us and the person who uncovers the time capsule
- Those cereal bowls that have a straw to slurp the milk at the bottom
- A USB with a sentient AI VTuber on it
- Every Garfield comic ever printed
- One single Flamin’ Hot Cheeto
- The key to the time capsule
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.