Area Man Screams “Eat the Rich” From His Maserati

Written by: Bri Arce

Cist later stated, “I’m an everyman. I’m paying off my $200,000 car month by month just like everyone else.”
Photo by Sharon Roth

Midday Tuesday, a male student was heard reportedly screaming leftist slogans across the UCSD campus, including “eat the rich,” and “no war but the class war,” along with his Twitter handle. Some reported seeing the student drive past in a Maserati GranTurismo Convertible MC. A bystander exclaimed that “He was totally revving his engine, trying to get me to pay attention to him. And when I didn’t look, he played the audio of a car revving from his speakers on full blast so it’d be louder.” This observation was corroborated by many individuals who claimed to come into contact with the student.

The student in the Maserati was later identified from his Twitter handle @markcist as Mark Cist, a “famous” Youtuber. Fans of Cyst praised his bravery and compassion for speaking out in defense of the less fortunate. One fan shed tears in a video posted online saying, “He’s just so giving! I can’t believe he let everyone see him and his car like that and even shared his social media. What a gift to give to random people on the street. Such a precious soul. And his message is so wholesome. It really motivated me to post more on Twitter about these important issues.”

Cist’s social media revealed similar behavior to his disruptive actions last Tuesday. Recent tweets include (emojis omitted): “Big pharma amirite?” “Ugh these protests would be fine but can’t they be peaceful?!?!?!” and “Link to my new merch in my bio, brought down my prices from $99.99 a shirt to $95.99 because I even love my poor fans.”

Student activist Fred Angles expressed his dismay: “Now I’m not one to talk bad about others, but Cist is willing to do anything to get followers. He joins movements when they’re popular and does outrageous things for support from those communities, all while living in a multimillion-dollar house with a 10-car garage and no word toward any productive legislation, no donations to any campaigns or organizations he ‘supports,’ and a total lack of social media based support for social activ-” The rest of Angle’s statement was unable to be heard as he was engulfed by the impassioned mob of Cist’s fans.

Cist could not be reached for comment, with his publicist saying “Mark is hard at work. It’s tough making a seven-minute vlog every six weeks, you wouldn’t understand. Liberate the working class.”

Design Editor

Bri Arce is the Assistant Design Editor for the MQ, responsible for all the pretty colored spreads you see in our issues! A first-year political science major, she is passionate about the aesthetics of the paper and works hard to make it the best it can be.

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