Written by: Daniel Clinton

Police brutality activist Jasmine Porcin held a press conference Friday on the rise of police brutality reports filed towards the San Diego Police Department.

Porcin discussed recent militarization of police departments and the “shoot first, ask questions later” attitude police used to deal with the public. “We continue to let children be slain in the streets by murderers in blue. Murder is murder no matter who commits it.”

While Porcin brought up reasonable, thought out arguments about the state of police in America, one shout from the audience sent the conference into disarray.

“EVERYONE IS GUILTY OF SOMETHING, STOP BEING SO UN-AMERICAN,” someone shouted. Porcin had trouble attempting to respond to the comment and was overwhelmed from audience members chanting “USA, USA, USA.” A man waving a four-foot American flag commented, “I can’t believe I was almost convinced that we needed a systemic change to how law enforcement conducts itself. I’m glad it turned out she was just un-American.”

The patriotic law-abiding citizens starte a riot over Porcin’s speech. The situation was de-escalated by riot police; who dissolved the seven rioters by firing tear gas and bean bags into the “crowd.”

“Ever since we got these fancy new tear gas dispensers, I have been dying to try them out on someone,” remarked one police officer after yelling “YEE HAW” and pepper spraying a random person.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *