The MQ

"I'm ready to die now. Tonight"

- Katya Zamolodchikova,
The Only High-Class Russian Whore 

June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII
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Skyboxes

Funny pictures and a joke to boot.

Skyboxes

September 24, 2025

Local Newspaper Runs Out of Ideas

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

September 24, 2025

Local Woman Masturbates to Video Game Character, Calls It Feminism

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

May 28, 2025

Democrats Wrapped Up In Humiliation Kink to Do Anything

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

May 28, 2025

Santa Claus Struggling to Stay Relevant

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

March 12, 2025

Spreading Hate: A Rapidly Growing Alternative to Employment

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

March 12, 2025

American Government Claims Big Stick Is Just An Olive Branch

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

February 5, 2025

Elon Musk Found Alive

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

February 5, 2025

Movies To Be Bad Forever

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

November 27, 2024

Hobby Lobby Remodels to Form Pyramid Scheme

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

November 27, 2024

Daylight Finally Saved: “We Can Stop Now”

Written by: The MQ

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The News in Brief

  • June 10, 2026

    AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

    In a recent internet frenzy, users have crowned autism as the new “trendy thing to have.” Followers of this trend have flooded social media sites with …

  • GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

    June 10, 2026

  • UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

    June 10, 2026

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

    June 10, 2026

  • Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

    March 11, 2026

  • Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

    March 11, 2026

  • BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

    March 11, 2026

High in fiber! Feels even better coming out than going in.

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Online Exclusive

  • June 10, 2026

    Pharmaceutical Company Unveils New ‘Soma’ Wellness Pills

    On March 8, Bernard Huxley, CEO of “wellness corporation” HuxleyHealth, which offers Instagram Reel–based primary care and supplementals announced BigBrother would be releasing a line of …

Purrusing the Paper

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a newspaper!

A car, however...

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