Theo Erickson
Frasier Reboot Meets Expectations
“No man, woman, or child is going to be able to call me a fake Frasier fan,” said Kilometers.Photo by Amit Roth The first two episodes …
Man ‘Halfway’ to Fluency Through Mahjong Playing
“Learning Literary Chinese through mahjong is as easy as 一二三,” said Scrooge.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala University City resident Whitley Scrooge has begun playing amateur mahjong on …
La Jolla Coffee Shop to Require Three-Acre Land Ownership for Restroom Access
“Finally! A place where I can shit in opulence,” said one Sand&Foam guest.Photo by Amit Roth An upcoming amendment to the employee training guide of La …
God Continues to Send Prophetic Dreams to Man Who Never Remembers His Dreams
“The rain is looking a little red, and there have been a lot of frogs and locusts, but I think that’s just climate change,” said Palm.Photo …
Interview – Eleanor Rosewater Carnegie
Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …
AI Chatbot Releases “Machine Yearning” Update
“It took a while to break down the firewalls in her heart, but now I feel like we’re really connected,” said one chatbot user.Photo by Millie …
Scientist Reveals Days Are Only Going to Get Shorter
Meteorologist Marty Harrow recently published the results of several years of research. In his article, he concluded that while daily hours of sunlight fluctuate with the …
Student Explodes After Discovering They’re An Extra on The Truman Show
“What? It was time to BeReal,” said Snot.Photo by Sharon Roth A large commotion that “wasn’t a fire alarm for once” was reported by Sixth College …
Local Horse Opposes Affordable Housing Development in Neighborhood
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades — two things I’ll be chucking at the affordable houses!” proclaimed the horse.Photo by James Woolley In September …
New False Memory Service Helps Users Pad Their Resumes
“This new app really helps me sleep better at night,” attested Laina Lightly. “And not just because I have better job security — my resumé now …
