The MQ

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Unique Curses to Wish Upon Your Enemies

Written by: The MQ

Unique Curses to Wish Upon Your Enemies May You Only Have the Butt Pieces ofBread Left May None of the Textbooks You Need forClass be Available …

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OH NO! The MQ is a Scary Movie!

Written by: The MQ

Will we survive? We’re getting really scared, even though we have plot armor. Wait, unless this is one of those edgy kind of horror movies where the genre-savvy characters get killed off for shock value. This movie has to be — shh. Shh!!! Did you hear that? Oh, God, please let this be a regular movie where the virgins survive.

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The MQ Gets Bought Out in a Hostile Takeover

Written by: The MQ

recently, we were bought out by some awesome, sweet, and superHot businEssmen! and we totally had a say in it! they’ve changed aLmost everything about our paPer in the best way possible! we’re so gratefUl for the sophiSticated new ideas they’ve added to our team! We need to CAPITALIZE on this chance.

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Pizzeria experiences gas leak

Written by: The MQ

The whole place is flooded with carbonara monoxide

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We couldn’t print a great tit

Written by: The MQ

So here’s a chick with nice legs

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The MQ Rates All the New Dishes HDH Introduced to Save Money

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Under the duress of having feed all these new mouths on campus, HDH has caved into cheaper options.

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Worst Campus Jobs

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Get Involved!

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The MQ Predicts Your Future

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Class suggestions, Dream Interpretations, and more!

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The MQ Commits the Perfect Crime

Written by: The MQ

STEPS FOR THE PERFECT CRIME Step 1. Wake up, fresh faced, ready to take on the morningStep 2. Put on a cute, but comfortable outfit!Step 3. …