The MQ

"I'm ready to die now. Tonight"

- Katya Zamolodchikova,
The Only High-Class Russian Whore 

June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII
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The MQ

Top Ten

October 30, 2024

Top Ten Reasons to Skip Lecture

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

October 30, 2024

Top Ten Easy Halloween Costumes

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

October 30, 2024

Unlawful Assembly in Lego Store

Written by: The MQ

Skyboxes

October 30, 2024

California Splits Into Two States Vertically

Written by: The MQ

Center Spread • Features

October 30, 2024

The MQ Plans a School Dance

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

October 30, 2024

MWE Presents: The World Currently Championship Title

Written by: The MQ

Features • Other Features

September 25, 2024

Back To School Coupons

Written by: The MQ

Features • Other Features

September 25, 2024

Which Major Should You Choose?

Written by: The MQ

Features • Other Features

September 25, 2024

Little Chats With Melvin McQuerey

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

September 25, 2024

Top Ten Ways This School Year Will Be Different from Last Year

Written by: The MQ

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The News in Brief

  • June 10, 2026

    GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

    GKN Aerospace CEO Oliver Oyle recently held a press conference to address the criticism and controversies the company has faced in the wake of the recent …

  • UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

    June 10, 2026

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

    June 10, 2026

  • AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

    June 10, 2026

  • Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

    March 11, 2026

  • Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

    March 11, 2026

  • BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

    March 11, 2026

High in fiber! Feels even better coming out than going in.

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Online Exclusive

  • June 10, 2026

    Pharmaceutical Company Unveils New ‘Soma’ Wellness Pills

    On March 8, Bernard Huxley, CEO of “wellness corporation” HuxleyHealth, which offers Instagram Reel–based primary care and supplementals announced BigBrother would be releasing a line of …

Purrusing the Paper

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a newspaper!

A car, however...

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