March 13, 2024 Straight from the ass's mouth. Volume XXX Issue V

Written by: The MQ

March 13, 2024

  1. Pull the fire alarm
  2. Fire the orbital laser
  3. Stop opening your mail
  4. Walk in saying “I looove the death penalty”
  5. Tell the judge you only make decisions based on “vibes”
  6. Clarify you are not one of their peers
  7. Say that your mom won’t let you
  8. Negotiate your salary
  9. Go into active labor
  10. Emigrate
The MQ

The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.

Last modified: March 11, 2024

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