Written by: The MQ

  1. Pull the fire alarm
  2. Fire the orbital laser
  3. Stop opening your mail
  4. Walk in saying “I looove the death penalty”
  5. Tell the judge you only make decisions based on “vibes”
  6. Clarify you are not one of their peers
  7. Say that your mom won’t let you
  8. Negotiate your salary
  9. Go into active labor
  10. Emigrate

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