Written by: The MQ

  1. Intense sweating
  2. You don’t want to drop your water bottle
  3. Crying only makes it harder
  4. Your dad used to do it every day
  5. You can pay someone to make it easier
  6. You’d think weed would make it more pleasurable, but you’d be sorely mistaken
  7. It’s really funny if you push the guy next to you
  8. You can’t wait to go home
  9. If someone dies, everyone else passes
  10. You pray that the curve is forgiving

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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