- Have their children
- Never let them open any doors, ever
- Get divorced so you can get married again
- Put their name before yours on the
research paper - Eat your partner’s food first, just to make sure it’s not poisoned
- Swerve when they’re in the car with you to make sure they appreciate every moment of their life
- Grow another chamber in your heart to store all your love for them
- Pick them up in your dad’s midlife
crisis Porsche - Invent a new breed of rock for your
wedding ring - Have them for dinner
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
