Written by: The MQ

  1. A 2023 calendar
  2. The official Sir Patrick Stewart Chia Pet
  3. A fake plant on the verge of death
  4. A Toys “R” Us gift card
  5. A basketball shaped like a football
  6. Frankincense and myrrh
  7. A Cameo from Gwyneth Paltrow
  8. Divorce papers
  9. A mood ring toilet seat from our aunt’s Etsy store
  10. A loaf of toast

The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.

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