Chancellor Khosla Sleeps Through Campus Abortion Rights Protest

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

“Sleep is for the weak. Thankfully, it’s Thursday,” said Khosla.
Photo by Sharon Roth

In light of the leaked draft opinion on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health, which threatens to overturn court precedent on Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey, students have been protesting across UC campuses for abortion rights and university statements in support of the prochoice movement. Last Friday, students marched from Geisel to the UCSD administrative complex, demanding a statement from Khosla. One student tweeted: “This affects all of us, and that includes UC students! #WakeUpUCSD.” According to one of Khosla’s assistants, Sali Verity Fovier, Khosla refused to comment — or rather, “was too busy catching an afternoon snooze to say much of anything.” 

Other staff have confirmed that Fovier mentioned the upcoming protest several times earlier that day, encouraging him to put the protest on his agenda. Khosla reportedly brushed her off, saying, “Let me sleep on it. Maybe I’ll have an opinion when I wake up.” By the time the student protest arrived, Khosla was already asleep. 

“The students came and yelled for his response, but he just slept right through it,” Fovier stated. “He slept through all his meetings after that, too. I didn’t think anything of it at first, because I had so much paperwork to do, but when I brought him his 4 p.m. tray of freshly-pressed coffee and crunchy green grapes a few hours later, I couldn’t wake him up. I mean, I really tried — I lightly tapped his shoulder, I even softly whispered his name! He just wouldn’t wake up. Instead, he snuggled closer to an office throw pillow and whispered ‘no comment,’ over and over. That’s when I got scared.” 

Fovier then called 911 out of concern. EMTs on the scene found Khosla unresponsive and took him to the hospital, and he has not woken since the events of Thursday. Dr. Mia Botti, one of his attending physicians, said, “He’s been saying ‘We cannot confirm nor deny,’ over and over in his sleep. His heart and lungs are working just fine. Actually, they are functioning well above average for a man of his age. Almost well enough that we suspect he might be a heartless cyborg.” She pasued contemplatively before continuing, “Regardless, we are doing everything we can, but as we cannot determine the cause, there is a possibility he may never wake from this coma.” 

Many students have expressed frustration with the fact that no one else in the administration has come forward to comment. Protest organizers expressed that they will continue to demand an official statement. One student activist and protest organizer, Kira Lott, declared, “We need to demand justice, and building a sound coalition is essential to being heard. Having people in power on our side amplifies our impact. I hope Khosla wakes up soon so he can join us in the fight for human rights.” Khosla had made only one official statement on the subject, a tweet which simply read, “Zzz.”

Distribution Lieutenant at The MQ

Kaz Nuckowski is a Copy Editor for the Muir Quarterly. They are usually found in Half Dome laughing and encouraging students to share their wit or giving their own suggestions to make everyone else laugh. Never doubt Kaz and their skills because they will surprise you, especially when the spread has a comic open and they are feeling inspired!

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