Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

Aggressive Hurricanes Battle for the Right to Destroy Gulf Coast

Meteorologists and climate scientists are in agreement that global warming is creating more aggressive weather — but the dangers of extreme weather are of a different nature than previously thought. According to weather reporter and climate scientist Harry Caine, two aggressive hurricanes drew weapons in the Atlantic, just south of Texas, in a “harrowed battle for alpha status. The Gulf Coast is such a frequent target of dangerous hurricanes, several storms have been vying for the right to hit big-ticket areas such as New Orleans.”

According to scientists, this kind of dominance aggression is reflective of heightened pressures in the South Atlantic. Weather is becoming more threatening and unpredictable, and people who live in coastal areas are advised to express caution and avoid angering aggressive storms further.

Caine also detailed the events of the weather event. “As Nicholas put on a cold front, Mindy advanced, a gale force of anger, determined to maintain her superiority. Nicholas took the wind out of her sails, but she was ultimately victorious.”

According to forecasts for next week, Mindy is poised to hit Galveston as a Category 5 storm, brandishing a blood-soaked knife.

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Kaz Nuckowski is a Copy Editor for the Muir Quarterly. They are usually found in Half Dome laughing and encouraging students to share their wit or giving their own suggestions to make everyone else laugh. Never doubt Kaz and their skills because they will surprise you, especially when the spread has a comic open and they are feeling inspired!

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