Top Ten Similarities Between Ronald Reagan and Ronald McDonald

10. Natural redheads
11. Mascots of late-stage capitalism
12. Contributed to the collapse of the USSR
13. Share the middle name “McLovin”
14. Survived numerous assassination attempts
15. Had immediate access to nuclear warheads
16. Ignored the AIDS crisis
17. Literal clowns
18. Neither has an alibi for 4:30 p.m. on July 5th, 1986
19. Surprisingly good in bed