Top Ten Things You Should Buy With Your Stimulus Check
- A special order for a T-shirt that reads: “I went through unprecedented times and all I got was this stupid T-shirt”
- The domain name “coolmusic.org”
- A taxidermied rat wearing a little ballerina costume
- Your local congressperson’s silence
- A donation to Jeff Bezos
- The rights to use one stock photo of Walmart
- A divorce lawyer
- Every season of “Phineas and Ferb” on Blu-ray
- A subscription to Quibi
- Anything to fill that hole inside of you
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
