Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Things You Should Buy With Your Stimulus Check

  1. A special order for a T-shirt that reads: “I went through unprecedented times and all I got was this stupid T-shirt”
  2. The domain name “coolmusic.org”
  3. A taxidermied rat wearing a little ballerina costume
  4. Your local congressperson’s silence
  5. A donation to Jeff Bezos
  6. The rights to use one stock photo of Walmart
  7. A divorce lawyer
  8. Every season of “Phineas and Ferb” on Blu-ray
  9. A subscription to Quibi
  10. Anything to fill that hole inside of you

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *