Out of Basic Necessities? Shoot Your Greedy Neighbors.

I think it’s fair to say that life has been a little bit hectic these days. With the shelter-in-place orders still in full effect, people have started to stock up. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that on paper, but when you have one or two folks who decide they just GOTTA buy eight palettes of pasta from Costco, then you start to have a problem. You’ve undoubtedly noticed that groceries are becoming scarcer and scarcer, and you’ve probably wondered just how the hell you’re supposed to put food on the table for yourself and your family if you can’t even get the dang food in the first place! Well, I come to you with a simple, yet elegant solution. It may be somewhat controversial, but it’s a guaranteed way that you can keep things equitable in your neighborhood and be a patriot in the process!

Ever since the days of our founding fathers, guns were used as the great equalizer — we were able to defend ourselves against tyranny and keep our communities and loved ones safe. Now, friendly faces around the neighborhood are changing, and everyday folks are transforming into virtual tyrants right before our eyes, sitting atop thrones made of canned goods, toilet paper, and water jugs. This is the new reality we live in. And just like during the War of Independence, when our livelihoods, personal liberties, and the safety of our communities were being threatened, we must now look again to the Second Amendment to give us a solution. And the Second Amendment answers back resoundingly: “Fight back against tyranny, secure the resources which are rightfully yours, and shoot your neighbor.” 

Is it an aggressive strategy? Most definitely. But think about this when it happens in the not-so-distant future: You’re down on your luck, and the supermarkets are out of food. You get back home, hang up your hat, and your child runs up to you with a big hug. With wonder in their eyes, they look up to you, saying “Did you get anything from the market?” You start to tear up. You give your child a hug, saying, “Not this time champ, but I’m sure that I’ll get something tomorrow.” You let go of your child softly and get up, dejected, unable to look at your child in the face. You’ve failed as a parent, and your family goes hungry that night. 

Now maybe you DO find some food at the market tomorrow, and maybe you don’t. It’s a dog-eat-dog world going to the supermarket, and statistically, you’re much more likely to get infected in public places, even if you’re civil and do everything right. But why take the chance? Your neighbor Joe has been holed up in his place for the past four weeks, eating nothing but canned veggies and frozen meats. And you like canned veggies and frozen meats. So for your safety, your family, and to spread the wealth of resources among the people, you have to do what’s right. Don’t sit idly by while your family starves — go out there and be a hunter-gatherer! For those who are downtrodden and on the cliff edge, there’s a way … but it’s up to you to gather your will.