Local Journalist "Sick of Having to be Accurate"


Written by: Adian Valdez

Local Journalist “Sick of Having to be Accurate”

lack Mountain Ranch Bi-daily Tribune journalist Winter Evans has recently become notorious after a video of her going on a rant about journalistic integrity went viral on the internet.

“You’re kidding me,” Winters could be heard saying in the video, which has amassed 30 million views on Youtube. “Look at the view counter on my latest article! Only 30 people. Like, I’m sorry that nothing ever happens in this town. It’s not my fault that it’s my job to write down the facts about some brat winning the Norte Elementary School Spelling Bee, or Billy Moscowitz’ cat getting stuck in a tree for the fifth freaking time. I’d spice it up for you if I didn’t have a conscience.”

Comments on the video have generated a discussion on the trustworthiness of major news sources, with many arguing that journalists need to be held more accountable for upholding the truth. When asked for comment, Evans replied, “I just think it’s ironic that this blew up and my articles still have literally no views.”

“CNN and Fox writers, they can bullshit all they want and millions of people will eat it up. But no, because I actually care about my job nobody gives a damn. I’d make everything up too, but then I’m no better than those fucking losers who write satire and think they’re funny.”

Copy Editor at The MQ

Here lies the bio of a guitar jammin, halo playin, copy editin, ISTJ personality typin member of the MQ. Adian Valdez is not only the lead copy editor of the MQ, he is a deeply committed member of Triton Halo, Muir Musical and his fraternity of which I do not know the name. The MQ urges you to listen to this king’s music on iTunes or Spotify and maybe he will AP style the hell out of your papers.

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