Features
These are features from the newspaper. Centerspread and Backspread can also be found in their respective pages.
What You Did During Your Hot Girl Summer
Whether you’re a hot girl, hot boy, or a hot person, we can all agree the record breaking heat wave over the summer was something we’re still recovering from. It was going to be a summer to remember, but it turned into one you’ll never forget. But in case you do, here’s what you were up to over the last three months, or seven years, or however long this has been. At least you got through it! We think.
MQCTOBER CALENDAR
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to anyone but that one guy you know who uses RedBull instead of water when making coffee. It is a dimension as vast as your ignorance about how big space really is, and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, Sixth college and Seventh, between STEM majors and Humanities majors (science and superstition), and it lies between the pit of your greatest nightmares (having to take a full year of zoom classes), and the summit of your knowledge (knowing it might last longer than that). It is … THE TWILIGHT ZOOM
You are a robot. Can you find love?
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Can you create content for Clickhole?
oops wrong satire paper
Can you write an essay for your 10th grade English class?
Well, can you? Find out with this interactive click-venture!
Would You Survive the Jurassic?
Long have you awaited, dedicated reader, for the chance to face your fears. Long have you awaited the moment where you discover if you live, or if you die. This life is not an easy one, oh no, but you can live it with your head held as high as any Brachiosaurus, knowing that you — yes YOU — will survive the Jurassic Period. Or would you?
Rejected Young Adult Novels of 2020
Sometimes, you really CAN judge a book by its cover. Here are some scrapped young adult novels that were originally set to release this year.
Quarantine Horoscope
Based on our very scientific analysis of stars and planets and whatnot, we know exactly what you’ve done during quarantine based on your sign.
