The MQ
Trump Administration Discovered To Be an Improv Camp for the Wealthy
In the past few weeks, many Americans have been awestruck by how seemingly messily and uncoordinatedly the Trump Administration has been conducting business. However, there seems …
Grammarians Argue Over Reclaiming “Grammar Nazis”
The Punctuation and Elocution Defenders Against Nefarious Terminology (PEDANT) has suffered an internal schism in recent months, as members argued over the question: should they attempt …
Big Ben’s Chime To Be Replaced with the Screech of a Tea Kettle
There are few things that are quintessential to the London landscape – double-decker busses, cloudy skies, Ian McKellen, and of course, the Big Ben clock tower. …
Top Ten Things Your Professor Will Say on the First Day of Class
“Welcome to the first day of class” “I’m giving you my personal email, but I never really check it” “I wrote the textbook” Nothing audible, they …
Top Ten Reasons Why Bees Are Better Coworkers Than People
The bees accept your invite to go out for drinks Bees don’t have a union They don’t always jam the copy machine, like that damn Tom …
Top Ten Reasons That Alarm is Going Off
Apparently Kinetic Sand is not microwavable It’s the fashion police. You’re under arrest You left someone in your car and you forgot you locked it from …
Top Ten Reasons You Should Buy That Chainsaw
Using a bat to break a pinata is just too old school You’re interested in making your juggling act more exciting It was on sale so …
Quarter System to Be Replaced by More Rigorous Quarter Quarter System
The University of California has decided to move away from the quarter system at its universities. According to statements released by the UC, the quarter system …
Protagonist is “Nothing but Dust in the Wind”
Area final boss Ersatzy, Crown of the Void’s Teeth, was heard proclaiming that local protagonist Avery Puck was “like him, nothing but dust in the wind, …
