Written by: The MQ

The History Channel recently began production of a new original series, where loosely-named professionals speculate on a wide variety of historical theories. “History Channel has the most historical speculations and conspiracy theories of any station,” stated CEO Robert Dafton while swirling a half-full wine glass of sparkling Redbull. “The titles of some of our previous series – such as ‘MonsterQuest’ and ‘Ancient Aliens’ – leave limited space to discuss larger historical topics. We want to educate our modern youth on some of the lesser-known, less-proven theories across the globe.”

The series has scheduled episodes to discuss topics, such as Ronald McDonald possibly being extradimensional, or Hot Topic potentially having existed in fourteenth century Sicily.

Screenwriter Daisy Randoll expressed her excitement for the upcoming success of the new series. “I mean, anything anyone says is technically history,” Randoll told reporters at the History Channel’s “I Saw an Alien Once and Therefore It’s Historical” conference. “Modern Americans won’t know the difference between speculation and hard evidence. So fuck it, what if Congress is run by Pokemon? I’m sure there’s a theory about it somewhere.”

Written by: Lauren Kirkbride, MQ alum and former design editor

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