One Typebeast said, “Damn, I sure hope this fad sticks.”
Photo by Sharon Roth
Ever since their launch in August, textured sticky notes have dominated the famously bloodthirsty and cutthroat back-to-school stationery game across the country. Office Depot’s new product sold out in under a week, leaving Post-it fans begging for more.
Those still hoping to get their hands on textured sticky notes will have to buy them secondhand. Office Depot fanatics, who call themselves “typebeasts,” have taken to snatching up all limited edition products and selling them at inflated prices. Something as simple as a pre-ripped sticky note could sell for five hundred dollars on reselling sites.
“Like, who would have thought? We’ve all seen sticky things, and pieces of paper, but this is a holy combination of the two!” enthused Aidan Schwalbe, a self-proclaimed Typebeast, active reseller, and founder of the San Diego Typebeast Facebook group. He went on to discuss the components of Post-it notes, exclaiming, “All it is is a piece of paper with a slight stick to it, but not even that! It’s only sticky on an eighth of the back! How ingenious!”
Typebeasts have taken to sharing their conquests on social media. Some share office supply hauls on YouTube, while others gloat in Office Depot’s Twitter replies. Recently, the Typebeast Twittersphere has been abuzz with talk of textured sticky notes, with many boasting “rare finds” in their local department stores. After two weeks of the textured post-it drought, Office Depot announced the product would be returning to shelves as a part of a big back-to-school sale. Everything from “Swiss Army highlighters” to “edible gel pens” would be hitting stores for a limited time only. Post-Its are the most highly anticipated products of the launch, coming in such varieties as squishy, pre-ripped, and pre-written-on.
Typebeasts have been camping out in front of Office Depot stores for days ahead of their much-anticipated sale. Employees have shared photos of their impromptu campsites on Instagram. San Diego Office Depot employee Burt Lopez (@burtlopezzz) shared a photo of a queue captioned: “WE’RE OPEN. JUST COME INSIDE.”
When Monday arrived and the sale began, all of the shelves in every store in the county were cleared out within 30 minutes. Lopez, who has previously shared photos of “#rabidTypebeasts” on his social media, shared his harrowing experience in an Instagram Live video. He said that when typebeasts flooded the store, “They were dumping shit into carts. It didn’t even matter what they were buying — they just wanted it. They call themselves beasts, which is accurate because they’re complete animals, working on instinct. Except animals don’t really understand creating artificial supply and demand. They even beat up my coworker Adam because he wasn’t restocking fast enough.” The coworker in question, Adam Cobbler, was in the hospital with two broken ribs and a black eye. At the end of the day, the only product left on Office Depot’s shelves was their newest launch: a roll of gummy worms dubbed TapeWorm. “The resellers aren’t much interested in perishables,” explained Lopez. “That’s why it was the only thing that wasn’t snatched up by those back-to-school scoundrels.”
“After a long day of pummeling Office Depot workers, there’s nothing like eating a whole roll of TapeWorms to refuel,” remarked Schwalbe. “It’s a shame the resell market is so focused on Post-Its right now. Anyway, if you want to stick it to the man, check out my shop. Or just stick it to the wall. I don’t really care.”
Sharon was “born” in 1801. She inspired the Archie Comics, which later inspired the hit TV show Riverdale.
