2025-2026 Staff
Stop whimpering in fear, for we’re here to save you!
Staff Members
Victor Boodram
Rita Cao
Ariel Chen
Andrew Curry
Chaveli Diaz
Bella Droullaird
Di Effio
Eva Firoozbakht
Amanda Webber
Kocheng Lin
Stella Lopresti-Busick
Lincoln Mahar
Marlene Monroy
Lilie Ririe
Shruti
Sheena Bautista
Peter Feng
Mikaela Rivera
Samuel Sharp
Caden R. Sherman
Ethan Stiefel
Sylvia
Farhad Taraporevala
Sam Propst
Kathleen Nguyen
Nate
Andrew Weber
Michaela Rivera
Ivy Vu
Jordan Whitlow
Chris Woo
Justin Xu
Yani
Lilly Ririe
Andrew Teteran
Editor in Chief’s Note
Start your engines, dear readers — welcome to the MQ’s 2026 special issue! In this issue, we’ve veered from the time-worn road of satire news and into the riveting world of car magazines. Even amid the dreaded Muir renovations and horrific attacks from The Chimer, the MQ drove ever forward in a nomadic form to bring you this issue, aided by the power of MQ O’Toole, the original God- given HDH logo, various cuck chairs, the Madoka Magica LGBTQIA+ LLC, and Wasia. We hope this issue will give you a newfound love and appreciation for the glorious American car industry. That’s right. Open it up. Heed it well. Good boy.
— Abby Offenhauser, Editor-in-Chief
Booster Club
The year’s 1955. New kid on the block Abby has found herself infatuated with Claire — one look at Claire’s baked goods had her smitten. Unfortunately, Claire’s in a committed relationship with hotshot Nadia. To profess her love, Abby takes her posse of trouble- makers — Amit, Jules, Sasha, Justin, Lucas, and the Sanchez family — and challenges Nadia’s gang of rebels — Cardi, Tyler, Lilia, Moksh, and Amanda — to a chicken run. The last person to jump out the car while speeding toward the cliff wins, while the losers perish. The rivals start their engines, and anticipation grows in the stands. Before either of them know it, they reach the cliff, a rocky death waiting just below. With her quick thinking, Abby jumps out just in time, winning Claire’s love — and her pastries.
— Dylan Towner and Destiney Friday, Managing Editors
