December 6, 2023 Time traveling since 2088. Volume XXX Issue III

Written by: The MQ

  1. Chew through your charger cable
  2. Print out the Reddit front page and read
    it offline
  3. Become a horse and run away into the night, finally free
  4. Change your device’s date to 1969 so that your screen time is negative
  5. Pirate physical copies of your textbooks
  6. Buy another phone so the screen time on your main phone remains low
  7. Browse shady porn sites until your phone
    is unusable
  8. Replace screen time with drugs and alcohol
  9. Send your phone to a nice farm upstate
  10. Do your fucking homework

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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