- Chew through your charger cable
- Print out the Reddit front page and read
it offline - Become a horse and run away into the night, finally free
- Change your device’s date to 1969 so that your screen time is negative
- Pirate physical copies of your textbooks
- Buy another phone so the screen time on your main phone remains low
- Browse shady porn sites until your phone
is unusable - Replace screen time with drugs and alcohol
- Send your phone to a nice farm upstate
- Do your fucking homework
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
