Written by: The MQ

  1. Sorry, I have to go home and have sex with my beautiful wife.
  2. Have you ever heard that silence is golden?
  3. Wow! That’s crazy. That’s actually what killed my uncle.
  4. I’m really glad we’re friends, because if we dated, I’d get bored.
  5. What’s your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid? Mine’s beef.
  6. I’ve said 118 words in this coversation and you’ve only said 52. Why?
  7. You know how you can feel when you’re about to projectile vomit?
  8. Do you know what time you were born?
  9. I’ve been catching a lot of bugs with my hands lately.
  10. Bye.

The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.

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