Washington DC resident and McDonald’s employee Francis Rex was brought under charges of embezzlement. Rex faces charges for participating in a secret side-business bringing corporate lobbyists into contact with the White House.
Rex supposedly operated his business through a McDonald’s establishment near 1600 Pennsylvania, where he received large sums of money from various business magnates to set them up with meetings with the presidential family. This consulting service was discovered when security cameras spotted Rex accepting suspicious briefcases through the restaurant’s drive-thru window. Investigators discovered a website operated by Rex which offered similar services, such as “Trump Photo Op” for $399.99, “Dinner with Trump Family” for $1099.99, and “Donald Jr. Playdate” starting at $1499.99.
When interrogated, Rex confessed to the crime. “Trump comes to our location so often, it wasn’t a surprise when I started receiving inquiries from certain parties interested in his whereabouts. You’d be surprised to see the amount of money people are willing to pay to know if Melania is a robot or not.”
President Trump declined to comment, claiming he and his family were headed to a “perfectly ordinary day spa” and would rather not be hassled.