New Parents Celebrate Their Fetus’ Genitalia With Cake and Explosions

Written by: Sage Cristal

While the couple was delighted to use the “It’s a girl!” extinguisher on the fire, California State Officials were quick to send them a notice the following day saying: “It’s a felony!”
Photo by: Sage Cristal

Last night, parents-to-be Donna and Eric Henway sent out invitations to their upcoming party where they plan to reveal the nature of their unborn child’s genitals to their friends and family through the use of food-dyed cake and colored balloons filled with pink and blue gunpowder.

In the invitations, the Henways referred to the event as a “Gender Reveal Party,” although the Henways are in fact using the occasion to reveal their fetus’ sex, previously determined through an ultrasound. The Henways mentioned in the party’s Facebook event page that they had been inspired to arrange this celebration after watching a video online. The video in question shows a couple firing a gun at a barrel of gunpowder that ignites a dry field of chaparral in blue flames, meant to indicate that their child was to be born a male.

Mr. Henway wrote in the Facebook event description, “What better way to tell the world of our baby’s masculinity/femininity than with a field of flames! We will be providing loaded guns and full barrels of explosives to all of our guests, but BYOAVG! (That means Bring Your Own Aloe Vera Gel!) The weather forecast predicts high winds for the day of our shindig so be careful of the moving flames!”

The Henways mentioned they were also inspired by Pinterest boards of young couples sharing photos of their own “Gender Reveals.” Mrs. Henway’s personal board is also dedicated to ways that she can unveil her child’s sex to her friends and family. Some of her pinned posts include a cake that asks “touchdowns or tutus?”, a sign that inquires “fishing or fashion?” and a t-shirt that questions, “guns or glitter?” Despite genitals having no impact on hobby preferences, Mrs. Henway still entertains the idea that only children with penises can watch football, go fishing, or shoot guns; and only children with vaginas may wear tutus, have an interest in fashion, or enjoy glitter.

In addition to decorations and a cake filled with pink and blue M&Ms, the Henways have planned games for their guests to enjoy during the party, among them guessing the weight of the baby once it is born and estimating the birth date. According to a Facebook post, Mrs. Henway has started looking for pinatas which she plans to fill with bows if the child has a vagina and bullets if the child has a penis.

One guest invited to the Henways’ “Gender Reveal Party” reached out to reporters to comment on their previous experiences at a Henway party. Jennifer Logan told correspondents, “Eric and Donna literally had a baby shower last month, and I shelled out $60 for a baby bottle sterilizer. Now this month they’re asking me to show up to another party and bring another gift for their kid who hasn’t even been born yet. So no, I will not be attending their party.”

The Henways’ “Gender Reveal Party” will take place on February 19 at the Henway residence, and all guests are encouraged to bring a gift to “help encourage our little bundle of joy to burst forth into the world.” Guests are also reminded that the child will not burst forth into the world for any gift less than $30.

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Sage Cristal is the woman of your dreams. She sings, she dances, and has a WWE Championship Replica Title Belt. She is currently training to be the next American Ninja Warrior.

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