Editorial: With All the Upheaval in Hollywood, Thank God We Have Good Men Like Lauer Submitted November 26, 2017

Written by: Cole Greenbaun

By Franklin Rogers
Concerned White Man

It seems like every day there’s another piece of news all about how a well respected actor, Hollywood executive, or journalist who was considered a role model and upstanding citizen had been committing horrid acts of sexual harassment and assault with no repercussions for years. Now I, for one, am glad that this exposure will rid the entertainment industry of these vile men and leave us with only the good ones – like Matt Lauer, for instance.

As I said before, good riddance to all these horrible, horrible men; but at a time like this, I think we all need someone to be able to look up to. And you may be thinking, like me, “Well I can’t look up to Louis C.K. or Kevin Spacey, so who else in this world can I look up to? These scandals are revealing my favorite actors and entertainers to be monsters! Ugh!” And that’s where the pure, honest, smooth voice of Matt Lauer comes in and comforts you with celebrity gossip, international news, and the occasional cooking segment.

Not only did Matt Lauer report on 9/11, but he’s been doing interviews on The Today Show and has done the Thanksgiving Day Parade Commentary for around 20 years. That’s the wholesome, non-controversial, white man we need right now, one who could never, ever do any of these horrible things. How could he? He’s married with three kids!

Honestly I’m just looking forward to the day when all these scandals are over and done with, and we’ve cleansed Hollywood of all these terrible people. Once people stop reporting on my favorite entertainers, I’ll be able to rest assured knowing I’ll be able to see Javier Bardem in another movie, and that Hollywood is wholesome once and for all. It’ll be nice to know I’ll live in a world where sexual harassment and assault committed by these powerful men has come to an end for good, and I’ll have done my part by reading the news and shaking my head and saying “tsk, tsk” everytime I watch The Graduate when Dustin Hoffman is on screen.

So just remember that while it may seem like the world has been turned upside down, and it’s super surprising that stuff like this has been happening in Hollywood for years – I heard it happens a little bit outside of Hollywood too if you can believe it – just remember that there are some men in power who will never let us down, like Matt Lauer.

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