November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Children’s Book About Mean Frog “Not a Sociopolitical Metaphor,” Author Insists

Written by: Cole Greenbaun

“What is this word?” Trump and Bannon asked each other simultaneously, as they both pointed to the word “generosity.”
Photo by: Jessica Ma

The new children’s book by author Rachel Bradberry has been lauded recently for its “careful, subtle rhetoric about today’s society” despite the author’s claims that “it’s just a fucking book about a frog.”

Bradberry’s book “The Frumpy Frog Who Just Wouldn’t Fray” has been a New York Times bestseller for four weeks now and has sold 5 million copies, surprising the author and publishing company, who had only sold 2,000 copies previously. The book details the misadventures of a “grumpy frog,” Frankie, who becomes the leader of his colony of amphibians, but then refuses to open his heart to “friendship and kindness.”

“Look, first off, anyone who says there are metaphorical connections has been snorting coke. This is a book for children,” said Bradberry. “Second of all, I wrote it in a coke-fueled haze when I needed a quick buck, so I know these people are crazy.”

Several admiring reviewers of the book have claimed that it is “excellent criticism” of the Trump administration, pointing out many parallels between the book and the president’s first few weeks in office, including scenes where Frankie Frog doesn’t allow other frogs into the swamp, ignores the swamp’s pollution, and loudly ribbits to the other frogs, “Truth doesn’t exist. I am truth, truth is me.”

People have also claimed that the book is an “almost better version of Zootopia,” an animated film known for its subtle depiction of race relations. They say that “The Frumpy Frog” extends its narrative to “almost every marginalized group and instance of prejudice in today’s society, from LGBTQ rights to indigenous rights to the treatment of American prisoners,” a feat once thought nearly impossible due to the complexity and wide range of each issue.

“I wrote this book in 2011, back then Trump was chummy with NBC and no one had even thought of a Muslim ban,” exclaimed Bradberry. “Back then, I was riding the high of the Royal Wedding and ‘planking’, and I didn’t have a political or social commentary bone in my body. I swear this is just a simple children’s book. Please don’t ruin it.”

Bradberry’s claims continue to be ignored by many, though, as alt-right activists have begun fighting back against the “liberal scum who have defiled this national treasure,” claiming the book is a “beacon of hope in a PC charged world.”

“This book is about a frog who seems like a ‘grump,’ but is actually a misunderstood, gentle animal who is representative of strong family values like patriotism, law and order, and white nation — I mean anti-race mix — I mean strong borders,” said Chief Strategist to President Trump Steve Bannon, an avid lover of the “Frumpy Frog” book.

As the two sides have spent weeks now arguing about the political and social meaning of the children’s book on Twitter, Facebook, and in Yahoo! News comment sections, Bradberry decided to hold a press conference this past Monday to settle the debate “once and for all” and to make an announcement about her next work.

“While the political and social implications of my book ‘The Frumpy Frog Who Just Wouldn’t Fray’ have been debated heavily, I have come to announce that my new book, the sequel to ‘The Frumpy Frog,’ shall put all of these conflicts to rest,” Bradberry declared to the press.

“The sequel to my infamous book shall be about Frankie Frog,” she announced. “He establishes a society in the swamp in which all the animals are declared equal, where they all work for each other and receive equal food and pay, and it works perfectly. I reverse-Animal Farmed you bitches. Analyze that, you pieces of shit. PEACE.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *