Volume 8 Issue 2

Features

The MQ’s Bestiary

Written by: The MQ

MQ has been beseiged by nightmares visions of beasts from far-off places, so far removed from our reality that we cannot begin to glean the truth of them, even in dreams. When we wake we can only offer a glimpse, a sketch. Can you help us connect reality to these fantastical imaginations? 

Features

Ask Emily Queue

Written by: The MQ and Aniela Drumonde

Features

The MQ Rates All the New Dishes HDH Introduced to Save Money

Written by: The MQ

Under the duress of having feed all these new mouths on campus, HDH has caved into cheaper options.

Center SpreadFeatures

OH NO! The MQ is a Scary Movie!

Written by: The MQ

Will we survive? We’re getting really scared, even though we have plot armor. Wait, unless this is one of those edgy kind of horror movies where the genre-savvy characters get killed off for shock value. This movie has to be — shh. Shh!!! Did you hear that? Oh, God, please let this be a regular movie where the virgins survive.

Back PageFeatures

The MQ Gets Bought Out in a Hostile Takeover

Written by: The MQ

recently, we were bought out by some awesome, sweet, and superHot businEssmen! and we totally had a say in it! they’ve changed aLmost everything about our paPer in the best way possible! we’re so gratefUl for the sophiSticated new ideas they’ve added to our team! We need to CAPITALIZE on this chance.

Skyboxes

Pizzeria experiences gas leak

Written by: The MQ

The whole place is flooded with carbonara monoxide

Skyboxes

We couldn’t print a great tit

Written by: The MQ

So here’s a chick with nice legs

Sunday Comics

Asshole Printer

Written by: System32

Within these pixels, Comic artist System32 exposes fatalistic and capitalistic gall that our printers so flagrantly flaunt, and, through that analysis, they reconcile our existence with these tortuous and frustrating machinations.