Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

According to NASA, a large asteroid will pass within 2,000,000 football fields of Earth on the night of the banana-shaped crescent moon at approximately three-foot-shadow-length time in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. The phenomenon will be visible for 30,000 eye blinks in parts of the world where nutmeg grows natively. The asteroid, named JKLMAO-47, last passed Earth when the sun set on the British Empire for the first time.

One astronomer, who has been studying the asteroid since she was first allowed to curse in front of her parents, eagerly anticipates the event. “JKLMAO-47, which I have affectionately dubbed Sophie, because she’s my little darling, was first identified by my grandfather,” said NASA scientist Dr. Sue Pernova. “But she’s my baby. Me and my husband are staying up until the rooster’s crow, because as the last star disappears from the dawn sky, she will be visible for a family portrait.”

In other astronomy news, the collision of the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies is now estimated to occur when humans harness nuclear fusion and the first Martian colony is as populous as New York City in Earth’s current rotation around the Sun.

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Kaz Nuckowski is a Copy Editor for the Muir Quarterly. They are usually found in Half Dome laughing and encouraging students to share their wit or giving their own suggestions to make everyone else laugh. Never doubt Kaz and their skills because they will surprise you, especially when the spread has a comic open and they are feeling inspired!

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