I’m trying to raise my child vegan. Is it okay to breastfeed them or should I go straight to oatmilk?
– VEGAN VIVIAN
Hm, this sure is tricky. I can tell by the way you phrased your question you’re the type of person who thinks honey isn’t vegan (no judgment here!), so this is more about sticking to your principles than an actual concern for nutrition or sustainability or morality (again — no judgment!). But really, the entire concept of breastfeeding has always seemed a bit … passé to me, personally. Like, what’s up with breastfeeding? What’s the deal? Why are we teaching our children to be immediately physically dependent on the very person they were literally just inside of? It’s kind of insidious, if you think about it. Someone’s being exploited here, but I can’t tell which party. Also, unfortunately, there are many health benefits to breastfeeding. Probably. I haven’t bothered to look it up. But, again, does that really matter? Bon Appétit is not a magazine that is, or ever has been, concerned with the health or wellbeing of its readership. And, looking through our archives, we’ve never actually had breast milk as an ingredient in any of our signature dishes, and what does that tell you about the actual quality of this ingredient? So I say: you go! Live your truth! Milk those oats! Literally, it does not matter to me anymore.