Written by: Andrew Sitko

Why is Rosalina so tall?

Rosalina is not tall, Mario is simply a short, weak man. Mario’s weak and miniscule height is his penance for being but a mere shell of a real man. Rosalina, with her spectacular mind and otherworldly body, should feel out of reach to the glorified sack of potatoes that is Mario. The player should feel pitiful as they are cast through the galaxy, dealing with deadly enemies and crushing gravitational force, all just to flop back to the hub world and deliver a star to a woman who would not give him a second glance. The level of groveling the player has to endure makes you appreciate the complexity of Rosalina. Rosalina is the apex of height-to-goddess ratio and will trample weak-willed people like you, the reader.

Managing Editor at The MQ

Andrew Sitko was recently arrested by the comedy police and charged for Possession of Killer Jokes. This is their second offense following a Grand Larceny charge from January 27th, 2003.

2 Replies to “Why is Rosalina so tall?”

  1. Jason Blackstone says:

    You stupid as hell rosalina is from space

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