What is Professor Oak’s academic certification?

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Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

What is Professor Oak’s academic certification?

Oak started his career as an undergraduate studying critical gender studies at the University of Kanto Celadon before flunking out of college and embarking on a five-year off the- books work-study in the Fuchsia City Safari Zone. Unfortunately, the warden ejected him from the premises when he discovered Oak to be a human rather than a very sick Kangaskhan. For the next decade of his life, Oak proceeded to become the very best at illegal pokémon/human cage fighting in the sewers of Goldenrod City. After watching a man’s arms get torn off by a Machamp in a semifinal tournament match, he abandoned his title as Nidoking of the Ring and returned to UKC, inspired to change his life and the world. With a new passion to eliminate violence and misunderstanding between pokémon and humans, he studied Pokémon Biology with a minor in Pokémon Sociology. He was three years into his degree when he met Aspen Magnolia, a fellow pokémon researcher studying tree-related pokémon. On a retreat to a Sudowoodo sanctuary, Oak revealed his past to Magnolia in a weekend they would never forget, an experience that would later be adapted into the feature film Love Bellossoms. Oak proceeded to write an honors thesis based on his experience in the Goldenrod sewer system before marrying Magnolia and pursuing postgraduate research in her hometown of Pallet Town. Oak and Magnolia divorced in the next year, and Oak has been stuck in Pallet town running a Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander breeding mill ever since.

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Dan Kaliblotzky is a fourth-year at UCSD. He aspires to find a career in soulful heavy metal Phineas and Ferb covers.

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