Can Mario grow a beard, or only a mustache?
Mario is a true Italian man. Every single day, he shaves his entire stocky, hirsute body from head to toe, and turns on his favorite record: Frank Sinatra’s “Point of No Return (Remastered Version)” and lets the smooth, charismatic tones of Ol’ Blue Eyes take him away. He steps into his bath of tomato sauce, sprinkled with oregano, garlic, and just a hint of alfredo sauce, to keep his skin milky-white and mushroom-smooth. After he has been cleansed in the red waters of Italy, he puts a couple of meatballs and some spaghetti onto a plate, then measures out 2 and a half cups of sauce, mixing thoroughly. After tucking in, he prays to the pope, and the hair on his head and upper lip magically reappear. The blessing fades every 24 hours, so Mario must do this routine every day in order to recognize the person he sees in the mirror. Hope this helps!