High Schools Nationwide Castrate Student Body as Part of a Sex Education Initiative

Written by: Quoc Tran

“Is this what sex feels like?” asked one student as the deed was done.
Photo by: Jessica Ma

As part of a new sexual education initiative that went into effect on February 1st, school districts nationwide have started castrating students in high school. The initiative was passed by Congress in late 2017 as an effort to further prevent teen pregnancy. Public opinion is currently mixed, but school officials assure parents that full implementation of the program will reduce unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases by at least 50 percent.

While castration is currently optional for high school students, the new law has a provision that requires all students graduating high school by the spring of 2020 to be castrated. Public health officials regard this move as a huge victory for the unwanted pregnancy cause. However, a small, but vocal, minority of critics fear that the permanent nature of the castration may lead to a sharp drop in birth rate in the near future. Senator Feinstein from California, on behalf of Coalition to Uncastrate American Students, publicly denounced the law: “We believe that the government should uncastrate American students.”

Susan King, a representative from Planned Parenthood, lauded the bipartisan effort to spearhead the bill through Washington. She calls the new initiative “a step in the right direction,” but she fears that once everyone has been castrated, Planned Parenthood may be shut down, and she might be out of a job. Along with the press release, King attached her resume.

Students nationwide have had different reactions to this new initiative. Eric Pratt of Wisconsin took to Twitter to express his thoughts about the castration requirement, tweeting: “i wanna keep my dick this new law is whack.” Simon Lee, a 16 year old from Nebraska, echoes Pratt’s opinion, telling reporters: “I don’t want to be castrated.” Not all share the same sentiment, however. Karl Holmes from Stars Hollow High School in Connecticut told reporters, “It’s not really a big deal. I don’t really get laid anyways.”

Projections from the Centers for Disease Control show that teen pregnancy is on a sharp decline and will virtually be eradicated by 2022. The same projection also notes a possible eradication in all pregnancies in the United States by 2040 unless researchers can develop a way to reverse physical male castration before then. Analysts from the CDC criticize the law from Washington as a rash move, but President Trump responded eloquently defending the new initiative, tweeting: “Believe me, castration is the best form of birth control on the market, especially if you don’t have health care. Remember my plan to repeal and replace Obamacare? Now it’s looking a lot more like repeal and pray to God for good health! #MAGA #Castrate4Christ”

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