- Finally earn that second accented “e” in resume
- Learn how to stalk people on LinkedIn
- Steal Post-It notes and paper clips and fashion them into a handmade paycheck
- Intentionally leak the blueprints to the imperial battlestation they’re building
- Move your desk over an inch a day until it’s down the block at the coffee shop. They’ll never know
- Over the course of several months, steal keys from keyboards until you have enough to make a new keyboard to sell on eBay
- Attempt to organize a potluck every day, but don’t bring food to it
- Hire your own unpaid intern and have them do all your work
- Replace the office coffee with decaf and watch it all come crashing down
- Actually learn something, you asshole
Last modified: January 2, 2019
