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  1. Finally earn that second accented “e” in resume
  2. Learn how to stalk people on LinkedIn
  3. Steal Post-It notes and paper clips and fashion them into a handmade paycheck
  4. Intentionally leak the blueprints to the imperial battlestation they’re building
  5. Move your desk over an inch a day until it’s down the block at the coffee shop. They’ll never know
  6. Over the course of several months, steal keys from keyboards until you have enough to make a new keyboard to sell on eBay
  7. Attempt to organize a potluck every day, but don’t bring food to it
  8. Hire your own unpaid intern and have them do all your work
  9. Replace the office coffee with decaf and watch it all come crashing down
  10. Actually learn something, you asshole

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