Pro-Trump Starbucks Boycotter Goes on A Yerba Mate Run

Briefs

Written by: The MQ

University of North Carolina student Derek Davis found himself without a sustainable source of caffeine to continue his “downvoting” after declaring a boycott against Starbucks. In his dire need for energy, Davis opted for Argentinean-made, all-organic, leaf-infused drink Yerba Mate.

“I’m sick of these companies not putting America first!” Davis railed against Starbucks’ decision to hire refugees, citing it as “un-American, and probably inorganic. “From now on I’m only putting my money towards my own interests.”

Davis is only a small cog in the movement across the country to boycott corporations with globalist interests in the name of small American-made products, as people everywhere are realizing that the only way to demonstrate their true outrage against outsiders is by buying imported products not tainted by America’s ideals of multiculturalism.

“This week I bought locally farmed produce, American-blown mason jars, and Alaskan cod ceviche,” Davis explained. “Let’s see Soros get his dirty money hands on those!”

Getting in his American-made red-, white-, and blue-painted Dodge Grand Caravan, Davis drove to the farmer’s market to get his “Yerba fix.”

“The left has become out of touch,” finished Davis, brushing hand-pressed tea-biscuit crumbs off his raw denim jeans. “With all their hippie cars, and fancy ‘organic’ food, drinking their fancy drinks and not listening to the opinions of mass Americans.”

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