Graduating students from Margaret “Mayge” Farenhart Middle School completed the first half of the school district’s two-course sex ed program, which initially builds anticipation and then subsequently presents the course material.

“They’ve really got us on the ropes,” remarked eighth grade student Jim Hendrickson. “I was really excited to learn how to put on a condom, but they only covered finding the ideal tearing point on the wrapper.”

To build tension and interest, the first course poses various expository questions, such as: “why do we need consent and protection?” “what should you do with your hands?” and “what’s the most important thing to keep in mind when having sex?”

Each of these questions sparked lively and open discussion amongst the students in the class, a behavior the school cites as proof of the curriculum’s effectiveness.

“It’s very rare to see such engaged discourse at an eighth grade level,” said Elle Fitgroll, a sexual education teacher. “I can’t wait to see their faces when we tell them the answer to the last question is to ‘Have fun.’”

The majority of students that completed the first course showed a strong interest in continuing onto the second one.

“I honestly can’t wait until high school,” said student Jon Dolher. “It’s not often a class is so thoroughly interesting, with all the crazy twists and whatnot.

“But when do we learn how to use fleshlights? The one I have didn’t come with instructions.”