UCSD Announces Therapy Furries Program

Briefs

Written by: Sage Cristal

After discovering the success of Therapy Fluffies, UCSD has created a new program to help students de-stress without having to battle dander allergies. On Thursday, UCSD held its first Therapy Furries session, where students were able to pet anthropomorphic animal costumes worn by The Zone employees.

“I really needed this,” said Makenna Jones, a first year student who attended the Therapy Furries session and was aroused by how much UCSD officials cared about her. “I have a midterm and an essay due next week and I was freaking out. But the furries were so cute and fuzzy, and their genitals were so warm that I immediately forgot about my plummeting grades.”

Employees at The Zone remarked that many students who needed stress relief but suffered from pet fur allergies showed up in large numbers, making the new program a big success. Julie Fairbanks, a Zone representative said, “UCSD strives to accommodate students of all backgrounds, ethnicities, and medical histories. And since the furries are just as cute, cuddly, and spunky as the fluffies, we can finally fulfill our goal of accommodating everyone, no matter the kink.”

Fairy Godmother at The MQ

Sage Cristal is the woman of your dreams. She sings, she dances, and has a WWE Championship Replica Title Belt. She is currently training to be the next American Ninja Warrior.

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