Photo by: Connor Gorry
On Wednesday night, an anonymous TA reportedly added a negative sign where there should not have been one in homework problem 37 of Math 20D. Witnesses at the scene reported that the TA paused in writing the problem on the chalkboard, turned around, and apologized to the students present.
For sophomore and front row constant Patrick J. Jones, this was “just not enough.”
“Well, too bad,” said Jones. “I think I speak for everyone when I say that we definitely don’t forgive you. Just, logistically, I don’t see how we could without sending you the message that this sort of thing is permissible. That was totally out of line.”
Jones’ fellow students “agreed” with this statement. Junior Sam Smith disclosed that last week, the TA in question mixed up the “completely different fractions” of 3/4 and 4/3. “I almost walked out, like, I just don’t know how much more of this bullshit I can take,” Smith said. “Isn’t there a screening process for these people?”
As a class, the students from section B00 demanded a formal letter of apology from the TA, written in the style of English from the 19th century or earlier, with at least four uses of the word “hence.” “A ‘whom’ would be nice too,” added Smith.
Jones noted that he had written up a basic template for the apology letter for the TA promptly after the first discussion, when “this ‘TA’ completely forgot the subscript on a variable. Could I still understand the problem? Sure, I GUESS. But that’s not really the point here, is it?”
Jones added that he recognized Wednesday’s mistake “like way, way, way before the TA did. Yeah, just, uhh, didn’t feel like saying anything because uhhm…I uhh, didn’t wanna make everyone else feel bad. Uh, yeah…that’s it. Yeah.”
Junior Suzy Quentin, although enrolled in the Wednesday discussion section, could not make it the week of “The Mistake” due to a scheduling conflict. “Oh god, did they do that thing again?” asked Quentin. “Where everyone gets up on their desks and then Patrick starts waving a scroll around and quoting ‘Independence Day?’ Jesus, that happens every week.”
The TA could not be reached for comment, but select witnesses report that just as the students requested she handwrite the apology letter using a locally sourced goose feather quill, she began to emit a sound most often associated with particularly angry flamingoes and promptly rolled out of the room in the fetal position. She has not been seen since.
Written by: Frances Debrunner, staff writer
