November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

Written by: The MQ

After facing enormous backlash from the public regarding the lack of diversity present at the recent Academy Awards ceremony, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) decided to implement a number of radical changes to boost representation for all groups at the annual film awards.

The most significant of these changes was proposed by Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs, who addressed the controversy in a press conference Tuesday morning.

“The Academy recognizes the public’s concern about how we honor the achievements of today’s filmmakers,” Isaacs said. “Thus, we have introduced a new line of Oscar statuettes to, you know, mix it up a bit.”

Starting in 2017, the new statuettes will be available in silver and rose gold variations.

“We at the Academy are extremely excited to enforce these changes and hope that the community recognizes our efforts to promote greater diversity at our ceremonies,” added Boone.

In addition, Boone also revealed that the choice of color awarded to the winners would be decided on a first-come-first-serve basis. As such, it is projected that next year’s 89th Academy Awards will mark the first time that rich, old white people could be disappointed for not receiving a lighter award.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *