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“My God, I’d love to smash into the casket of Dostoevsky, grab that bony hand, and scream at the remains.”

- Mel Brooks,
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May 28th, 2025 Playing tadpole games in the frog pond. Volume XXXI Issue VII
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Liz Owens

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February 5, 2025

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The News in Brief

  • May 28, 2025

    Local Student Receives 1500 On SAT, Says Mother

    Local high school junior Geoffrey Patrick Anderson received a score of 1500 on his SAT last week. According to a news tip emailed to a local …

  • Students Start ‘School Idol’ Group

    May 28, 2025

  • Target CEO To Come Out As Bisexual Following DEI Rollback

    May 28, 2025

  • VaporHealth CEO Reveals New Vaping Accessories to ‘Live Up to Their Name’

    May 28, 2025

  • UCSD Theatre Facing Budget Cuts, Forced to Produce ‘Non-Woke’ Plays

    May 28, 2025

  • Famous Critic Says This And That About Recent Movie

    May 28, 2025

  • Free Speech Privatized

    May 28, 2025

The beatings will continue until the horse gets deader

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Look at our fortunate son

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Online Exclusive

  • May 28, 2025

    How The Sunshine Market Renovation Ruined My Life

    Scene: It’s the first day of Spring Quarter, and I’m walking through Price Center. I am unbothered, serene even, as I dodge the usual lunchtime swarm …

Fighting for the moral high ground

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You drink this shit up, don’t you?

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Check out our new web show!

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Face down. Ass up.

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Wake us in the fall

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